PACT Therapy

PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) is a type of couples therapy that gets to the heart of what’s happening with tension and conflict in your relationship. PACT is a combination of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation.
PACT doesn’t spend time on who’s right, or wrong, or how to fix the problem. Instead, it focuses solely on what’s going on in your head and on what emotions you’re feeling during a conflict with your partner.

PACT takes a body-based approach. Much emphasis is put on reading body language. The therapist observes changes in voice, posture, and facial expression and will help you to recognize these shifts in yourself and in your partner. Paying attention to these more subtle signs and learning what they mean can put you on the path to nonverbal attunement.

PACT stresses the importance of a “couple bubble”, which refers to the environment where trust and security are formed in the partnership. This couple bubble acts as a cocoon protecting the couple from outside elements. It is what partners work to cultivate over time. The couple bubble is composed of the couple’s mutual agreements, shared vision of the relationship, and the way they navigate life together.

PACT Therapy can help by:

• Gaining practical skills to manage conflict with your partner 
• Reading your partner better

Pros of PACT Therapy

• Usually requires fewer sessions than other types of couples therapy
• Grounded in research
• Based on mutuality (no winners)
• Longer sessions allow you to get into more depth
• Interactive and experiential

Limitations of PACT Therapy 

• Might not address underlying issues of childhood wounds or trauma that could affect the relationship 
• Might be the best fit for polyamory or open relationships 

Imago Therapy

Imago therapy is a type of couples therapy that focuses on transforming conflict into healing and growth. It combines behavioral and spiritual techniques with Western psychological methods to unveil each person’s unconscious parts.

“Imago”, which means “image”, refers specifically to an unconscious image of familiar love. According to Imago theory, our early experiences with caregivers impact us so much that we unconsciously seek out people in our adult life who are similar. Additionally, Imago therapy is built on the belief that the feelings you experienced in childhood are likely to be present in your adult relationships.

Imago therapy centers around what’s known as the “Imago Dialogue”. The couple agrees to take turns filling the role of “sender” and “receiver” and carry out 3 steps: mirroring, validation, and empathy. With mirroring, one person speaks and the other waits to then repeat back what was said, without analyzing or responding in any way. Next, the receiver will validate what the sender said or ask for clarification on any parts that did not make sense to them. Lastly, the receiver tries to imagine what the sender must be feeling in regard to what they said. 

Imago Therapy can help by:

• Improving intimacy
• Recognizing your own and your partner’s autonomy
• Approaching each other with curiosity instead of judgment
• Expressing appreciation and positivity towards one another

Benefits of Imago Therapy 

• Can be used in private sessions or group settings (workshops)
• Not limited to couples experiencing conflict 
• The couple has a lot of control 
• Less emphasis on blame or guilt 
• Can heal childhood wounds 

Limitations of Imago Therapy

• Limited scientific research on the long-term success of Imago therapy.
• The therapist is less of a director of healing and more there to assist the process
• Unlikely to be suitable for couples going through domestic violence, substance abuse, or other addictive behaviors
• May not be suitable for couples where one or both partners have an unrelated mental health condition

The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method of couples therapy aims to “disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. The Gottman Method believes that a good relationship is like a house. It has structure, different levels, and a strong foundation. This method allows couples to understand their unique problems and calmly discuss them. Therapists using this type of couples therapy will collect a lot of data. 

The Gottman Method can help by:

• Decreasing recurring conflict and arguments
• Understanding the difference between solvable and perpetual problems in the relationship
• Developing communication skills to manage conflict
• Replacing negative patterns with positive ones

Benefits of the Gottman Method

• Practical approach that teaches how to problem-solve with your partner 
• 40+ years of scientific research
• Can help fix specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting

Limitations of the Gottman Method

• Better suited for married couples (or long-term couples)
• Lengthy assessment forms are necessary before moving forward 

EFT Therapy

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a type of couples therapy rooted in the belief that conflict is the result of unmet emotional needs. EFT therapy is a research-proven approach that views disagreements between couples as a result of insecure attachments. 

In EFT sessions couples experience, accept, and transform negative emotions and patterns into positive emotions and bond-enhancing interactions. EFT is useful for couples caught in a vicious cycle of conflict with the same outcome every time, and where both parties feel distanced. One of EFT’s goals is to create a secure emotional bond between you and your partner.

EFT Therapy can help by:

• Increasing feelings of security 
• Understanding your partner’s attachment style (as well as your own)
• Improving communication
• Teaching you to accept your emotions 

Benefits of EFT Therapy 

• Reputation for being the most effective type of therapy with research to back it up (90% of couples significantly improve their relationship)
• Focuses mostly on what occurs during sessions (less on questionnaires and history) 
• Short-term solution (usually a total of 10-20 sessions)

Limitations of EFT Therapy

• Might not address underlying issues of childhood wounds or trauma that could affect the relationship

Discernment Counseling

 Although it’s not couples therapy, discernment counseling can be helpful for couples who are at a pivotal point in their relationship. Discernment counseling is used with couples who are at a crossroads deciding whether or not to end the relationship. Discernment counseling is different from other types of counseling because the goal is not to mend the relationship. Instead, the goal is to get the couple to a place of agreement in regards to which way they should go: stay together or break up. 

People enter discernment counseling because at least one person is grappling with the idea of leaving the relationship. The therapist works with both partners to gain clarity by asking hard questions and helping to guide them in the right direction.

Discernment counseling can help by:

• Helping you make the best decision regarding your relationship
• Giving you tools to build a path forward (with or without your partner)
• Preventing you from repeating the same mistakes 

Benefits of discernment counseling:

• Professional support through an extremely difficult decision 
• Most helpful with mixed-agenda couples (one person is leaning towards divorce/separation and the other wants to save the relationship)

Limitations of discernment counseling:

• No data available on the success rate 
• Not suitable for couples with one partner who’s already made the decision to leave the relationship. If the couple decides to work on the relationship then other forms of therapy are needed to work on the issues they have.

The Developmental Model to Couples Therapy

The Developmental Model to Couples Therapy focuses on growth and how it can allow couples to evolve in a positive way. The goal is to help each partner grow skills in certain areas that may be lacking. There is a component of self-discovery because we need to be able to identify our own needs and wants so that we can effectively communicate them to our partner. The belief is that conflict exists when the couple is at different stages of development. 

The Developmental Model can help by:

• Learning to accept and understand your differences
• Giving you the ability to tolerate some conflict
• Teaching you how to fight fair

Benefits of the Developmental Model:

• Helps you see the issues in your relationship as a temporary state that can pass 
• Improvement of self 

Limitations of the Developmental Model: 

• The Developmental Model is a newer approach, so there is limited research available. 

Love Made Simple 

A newer approach to couples therapy developed by the founders of this website helps couples not just overcome relationship or communication challenges but create a fulfilling relationship that invites each partner to grow. At the heart of this approach is the perspective that relationships are a mirror that can help each partner to learn about themselves and discover the particular areas they can develop. So it serves not just to improve the connection but to help people improve other areas of their lives. Love Made Simple believes that our automatic and body-level responses teach us more about what is happening to us than what our mind says. Therefore there’s much emphasis on working with somatic (body-mind) interventions and increasing mindfulness. 

Love Made Simple can help by:

• Reconnecting to the love that you previously felt for each other 
• Changing the perspective to the relationship as a continual journey of growth
• Working on and healing past wounds that are affecting the relationship
• Developing skills for fulfilling relationship goals 

Limitations of Love Made Simple:

• Mindfulness and body-mind aspects don’t speak to everyone 
• Requires a certain level of personal awareness and organization of the self 

Find a Therapist

The Couples Center has therapists who meet your individual needs. Meet with one of our experienced therapists who will help you get to a place where you and your partner are on the same page both physically and emotionally, communicating more effectively and you feel more connected than ever before. Start the journey to the fulfilling relationship that you deserve, one with less conflict and more love.