couples sex therapyI’m sure you’ve heard many times that date nights are important for relationships. Yet you probably still don’t have one that often. (As parents of a 2-year-old, even Liron and I can have trouble finding time for date nights.)

You’re probably also well aware of the obvious reasons why date night is important – it fosters communication, increases feelings of intimacy, decreases the chances of taking each other for granted, decreases stress, and builds attachment.

As critical as each of these obvious reasons are, you’re not alone in not prioritizing date night. Why? Because we are too busy to fit even one more thing into their schedules. Because we already take our spouse or marriage for granted. Because we prioritize our children and/or work above their relationship.

If you and your mate are one of the couples who haven’t yet embraced spending regular, focused time together, here are 5 subtle and research-based reasons why date night is important for you to seriously consider (note: the research was done on heterosexual couples only so we’ll refer in the data to husband and wives but it can probably be generalized to all types of couples).

  1. You’ll each be happier:
    When you spend time each week with your spouse, you let them know they matter to you. And when they accept your invitation, you know they’re prioritizing you too.The effects of this have been measured. For women who spend time with their spouse every week, they are 4 times happier than women who don’t spend this kind of time with their mate. For men, they are 2.5 times happier than men who don’t focus on their spouse at least once a week.The data don’t say that couples are just happier with each other. The data say that the individuals are happier in general.
  2. You’ll be investing in divorce-proofing your marriage:
    This may seem obvious, but if you don’t spend time with your spouse, you’re more likely that to contemplate divorce. Couples who don’t have at least one mutually meaningful connection a week are at greater risk for divorce. The women in these couples are 4 times more likely to initiate divorce and the men are 2.5 times more prone to initiate divorce when compared to couples who regularly take time every week to connect.
  3. Your sex life will be better:
    When you make the investment to consistently spend time together every week, you’ll feel closer to your mate and you’ll find them more attractive too. This combination makes for great sex! The research shows that sexual satisfaction for men is 3.3 times greater and for women is 3.5 times greater simply because of making the commitment to connect with each other every week.
  4. Women have increased satisfaction in their marriage:
    Women tend to need more social connection than men. And when their spouse regularly prioritizes time with them, women generally feel more connected, supported, and safe. Social scientists have found that women who spend at least one period of “couple time” a week with their spouse are as much as 7 times happier in their marriage.

Your children will have a better childhood:
When you and your spouse are reaping the obvious and these subtle benefits of spending time together, you will be less likely to persistently argue. The decreased propensity for sustained tension in your household makes it easier for you both to establish warm, effective relationships with your children. When your kids feel confident in your love for them, they have fewer academic problems, fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression, and less anger and aggression in their peer relationships.

Although these 5 reasons why date night is important may not be well-known, they’re every bit as critical as the more commonly known.

Imagine…having just one date night every week will help you be better parents, make your sex life hotter, go a long way toward divorce-proofing your marriage and makes you both happier.

The benefits for having fun together as a couple are immense. And it’s most likely that they outweigh the benefits you receive from your over-scheduled calendar, taking your spouse or marriage for granted, or prioritizing someone or something else above your relationship with the person you chose to love for the rest of your life.

Want to plan an exciting Date Night? At The Couples Center, we offer special Date Night events for couples who are fun and intimate. Check out our Date Night page and make sure to sign up so you receive updates about future events.