Emotions that function to defend or fight against a perceived threat sabotage productive communication.

So, who’s to really blame when you fight? Ever had the experience of being in the middle of a fight with your partner, hearing the strong words coming out of your mouth, and suddenly not recognizing yourself? Or have you taken a look at your partner and wondered where the person you married went?

Behind the reactive behavior that causes many a fight is likely a part of your brain called the amygdala. That’s right: the fight culprit isn’t your partner, but how our brains are wired.

Thankfully, that brain wiring is normal—and changeable.