“What exactly are we going to do?”
This is usually the first question that just about everyone considering working with a sex and intimacy coach asks. Because this style of work is still relatively new in the grand scheme of personal growth, healing and wellness, very few people have an accurate sense of what happens when the door closes and the journey begins. And, even more people have some very wild and wonderful ideas about what happens that may or may not be so accurate!
Fact: 99.9% of people showing up for their very first sex and intimacy coaching session feel an enlivening, perhaps slightly petrifying, mix of excited and nervous.
Think about it. . . how often do we get to step into a space where talking about our deepest desires, secret fantasies, buried pain and boundless potential is on the agenda? And, in somatic sex and intimacy coaching sessions, we don’t just talk about it, we embody it!
In this body-focused, experiential approach to exploring and experimenting with the intricacies and dynamics of relationship, you are invited into the co-creation of an authentic connection with your coach. Since so many aspects of what alludes or ails us in our intimate life are rooted in relationship, it stands to reason that the remedy or opportunity for transformation also lies there. We learn about ourselves through our relationships with others just as readily as we learn about them. Having a secure, compassionate, permissive connection with your coach allows you to really get know what makes you tick and what you really need and want from your other connections.
By teaching you how to be in relationship with them in mutually satisfying ways, your coach empowers you to have mutually satisfying relationships with others.
Somewhere at the intersection of a private workshop and a counseling session, sex coaching offers the opportunity to take a hands-on (and clothes on) approach to cultivating more intimacy with yourself as a profound and essential baseline for sharing true intimacy with others. In a coaching session you might be wrapped up in a loving, nurturing embrace while giving a voice to the unmet needs of your inner child one day and then roll around and wrestle like wild animals the next. A session could be devoted to learning the art of flirtation and seduction or to experimenting with power dynamics.
You might spend time narrating your most enticing fantasy or practicing giving different styles of touch.
When there is a moment of discord, be it differing desires or a communication that ends up triggering one of you, rather than that rupturing the entire connection, your coach is deeply committed to true repair with you so you can have a model for that in all your relationships. All this and more awaits you!
Ultimately, your coach is there to be a secure anchor for you to relate with, someone who is genuinely committed to helping you get more of what you want out of life and relationships, so much so that they will give you candid constructive feedback just as readily as they will get your juices flowing. Because this is not just about giving you a novelty experience. It’s about helping you to cultivate skills and confidence, through direct, embodied experience, that enable you to show up more fully in all of your relationships.