I want to ask you a question: in your daily life, how much time you do you actually spend with your partner? Not just being around him / her but actually spending quality time with them, connecting with them? And now compare this to the amount of time you used to spend with them in the first year of your relationship, when you were just dating.In the midst of our busy life, it is really easy to take our partner for granted and miss the opportunity to actually connect with them. This is very true when you have kids. Over time it’s really easy to become more like roommates, living together, than lovers. Even worse, when we don’t feel connected conflicts can escalate easily, and we can get caught in the blame game. So, it’s important in our daily life to find ways to really connect with our partner. It doesn’t have to take much time.
There are actually important moments during the day that you can use in order to create a better connection with your partner:
1. Leaving the house – when you leave the house in the morning, take just a minute or two to connect with your partner and ask them something about their day, and let them ask you something about your day.
2. Coming back home in the evening – spend a moment or two connecting with your partner both physically by giving them a hug or a kiss, as well as verbally by asking them a couple of questions about their day.
3. Meal time – take this time – whether breakfast, lunch or dinner – to disconnect from others and connect to each other. Turn your phones off, look into each other’s eyes, and thank the other for making time to share this moment.
4. Going to bed at night – if you go to bed together, spend a couple of minutes – being together in bed – cuddling or touching each other or just talking and ending the day on a good note.
5. Having a date night – A date night is a specific night every week in which you go out with your partner just the two of you, without friends or kids, or anything that distract the two of you. A date night can be hiking together, walking around downtown, or playing a board game – but, talking is required, and undivided attention is a must!
These are some ideas and tips and you and your partner can talk about it and make your own choices, but what is really important is to make those choices consciously, to be aware of moments in which you connect better during the day or the week.