As we approach the peak of the holiday season, we can take a moment to be thankful for another year and time well spent with our loved ones. The holidays come with wonderful opportunities to slow down and enjoy moments with your family, but they often can come at the [...]
"Where should we begin?” That is a question I often hear when I meet with a new couple. It is indeed a good question. Should they begin telling me about the “good ol’ days” when they were in love and absolutely sure that nothing would ever set them apart? [...]
Here's the bottom line: HeartMath technology reflects how the heart responds to stress. Conflict in relationship causes untold heartache and pain. According to the World Health Organization, the number one killer in the world is heart disease. It’s no great surprise to know that stress is one of the [...]
More than ever, we need to be intimate with each other; tender, caring, and communicative.During the last few weeks, every person I saw in the Bay Area was clearly impacted in some way by the changes in our political climate. As a couples therapist, I witness the impact of this [...]
Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn't listening. ~Emma Thompson Do you and your partner fight before a family event? Is there one family member who just sets you off? Family gatherings are stressful; juggling hopes for a good [...]
Here is the basic idea behind Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples: underneath your fights with your partner there is a desire to feel secure in your love.Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a popular approach to couples therapy that has been validated in research. EFT helps couples stop [...]
We usually think that couples break up when they have too much conflict. But being 'conflict-avoidant' could be just as damaging. If you’re not fighting with your partner you might be in trouble. Most people think that not fighting is a good thing. After all, who actually wants to [...]
Couples can allow logistics, work schedules, children, money, and an array of obstacles get in the way of supporting their precious relationship. For most of us, going to couples therapy is a big deal. Couples therapy is quite different from individual therapy in that choosing a topic involves two [...]
It is such an important need to see and be seen. “To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.” —Anonymous I’ve often heard the words “I miss you” or “I can't wait to see you” when I travel. Who hasn’t [...]
When we are vulnerable with each other, our emotional load lightens. When we step back and take a deeper look at what we are seeking in intimate partnership, many of us find a desire for acceptance, support, and connection. Yet many couples get stuck in painful cycles with each [...]
It can be tempting to think that your partner should accept you without any help.In my previous article, we looked at what acceptance is and how to give it. Now we look at how you can help a partner become more accepting. It can be tempting to think that your [...]
True acceptance is always done in a way that maintains your integrity.The desire for acceptance—and the lack thereof—is a prevalent theme in relationships.It can appear in an angry “Just accept it!” It can sound pleading, as in “Why won’t you just accept me the way I am?” There’s also pseudo-acceptance, [...]