Lately, I’ve been putting focused attention on Trust... what it means, how it feels to receive it from someone, from myself. We use this word all the time, usually when we are talking about betrayal, less often when we are referring to ourselves. When it comes to being in a [...]
Why does it seem easier to take care of everything else and everyone else of yourself? We often don’t think twice about taking on that meeting, signing the kids up for another thing, or ditching the gym for a conference call. The excuses, justification, and reasons become second nature, [...]
Monogamy and Polyamory: Reflections of a Couples Therapist By: Raia Kogan Every week, I sit with a dozen diverse couples, each in a unique expression of intimate partnership. Every couple chooses a slightly different container, a different set of boundaries, expectations, and commitments. Every individual enters romantic relationships with [...]
Here's the bottom line: HeartMath technology reflects how the heart responds to stress. Conflict in relationship causes untold heartache and pain. According to the World Health Organization, the number one killer in the world is heart disease. It’s no great surprise to know that stress is one of the main [...]
All of those relationships have prepared me for where I am now and helped me to be in a beautiful, growth-oriented and loving relationship. When a relationship ends, we can experience significant loss and grief in the absence of love, connection and companionship. Feeling the pain of being left or [...]
Not being your authentic self in relationship can occur in a variety of ways. Maintaining your individuality while in intimate romantic relationships is an important aspect of developing a healthy and sustainable relational dynamic. Most people want to be in a relationship where they feel a deep sense of [...]
Even those with the most entrenched challenges can 'earn' secure attachment. Do you often fear that your partner doesn't want to be as close as you'd like them to be? Do relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy? Or maybe you're often on high alert for [...]
Couples can allow logistics, work schedules, children, money, and an array of obstacles get in the way of supporting their precious relationship. For most of us, going to couples therapy is a big deal. Couples therapy is quite different from individual therapy in that choosing a topic involves two people [...]
With an endless variety of potential 'perfect fits,' how do we know when to stop? We live in a very stimulating era—everything seems to be immediate, instantaneous, and accessible. Whatever we desire is out there and within our reach, as long as we have a few seconds and a Wi-Fi [...]
It is such an important need to see and be seen. “To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.” —Anonymous I’ve often heard the words “I miss you” or “I can't wait to see you” when I travel. Who hasn’t witnessed [...]
When we are vulnerable with each other, our emotional load lightens. When we step back and take a deeper look at what we are seeking in intimate partnership, many of us find a desire for acceptance, support, and connection. Yet many couples get stuck in painful cycles with each other, [...]
To get a better sense of the meaning sex has in your relationship, you have to expand your lens of curiosity wider than the sex act itself. When you and your partner have sex, what are you communicating to each other? Imagine, for instance, that you could see a video of [...]