Have you ever had that “you don’t really love me” conversation with your partner? It goes something like this:

“You don’t really love me.”
“What do you mean? I just spent the whole weekend planning your birthday party!”
“Yes, but you never said you loved me. And I barely saw you, you were so busy.”
“I was busy because I wanted to make sure you were happy.”
“But it feels like you don’t really want to spend time with just me.”

Love is a feeling that is communicated in many different ways. Most people express love in the same way that they expect to receive it, because this is how he or she knows love. Misunderstandings arise when one partner does not express love to the other in the way he or she is accustomed to receiving it.

Just as you learn how to do and say things that will not stress or upset them, you must also learn how to do and say the things that will open both of you to the love that you share. It is an important part of maintaining a healthy, romantic relationship.

If you really want your partner to feel and know how much you love them, you have to learn their language of love.

So if you want your partner to respond well to your expressions of love, pay attention to their love language. In his book The 5 Love Languages® , Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five different ways of communicating love: