Even if you’ve never attended couples therapy before, you may have an idea of what it will be like. You’ve seen what a session is like on TV, in the movies, or you’ve heard a story about it from a friend of a friend.

There’s a good chance that what you‘ve seen or heard is not entirely accurate, especially if it was on TV. The harmful misconceptions about couples therapy can understandably scare people away.

For some, debunking common myths surrounding couples therapy could be the difference between getting the help needed to improve their relationship.

The Therapist Picks a Side

One common myth about couples therapy is that the therapist will single out one person to blame for all of the problems in the relationship. Some people are hesitant to attend couples therapy for this reason.

The Reality

Even in situations where one partner appears as the main culprit, like if they had an affair, the therapist will remain neutral. In other words, they are not going to judge you or gang up on you along with your partner. A therapist’s role is to provide a safe and supportive environment for all parties involved in couples counseling. Their goal is to help both partners understand their feelings and perspectives.

Successful therapy, especially after a damaging situation such as infidelity, involves maintaining an attitude of “unconditional positive regard” for both partners. This means the therapist would treat both the “betrayer” and the betrayed partner with respect and empathy, despite their behavior. They’d also encourage everyone else to do the same.

Another goal of the therapist is to help facilitate open communication and understanding between partners, rather than assigning blame or shame.

The Therapist Will Tell You What to Do

Some people think that after meeting with the couple, the therapist will decide whether or not you should stay together or break up.

The Reality

A therapist will offer guidance based on their training and expertise. They will give you valuable tips, tricks, and advice, which you can choose to accept or not. They may have you participate in certain exercises in person or as homework.

A good therapist will help you explore the root causes of your relationship issues and their impact on the relationship. They will also work with you and your partner in developing a plan for moving forward. The agreed plan may involve rebuilding trust and intimacy. However, if the couple decides they want to move in a different direction, they will also support that. The bottom line is that the couple gets to decide what they will do, and the therapist can help them reach a mutual decision.

It’s Only For Couples in Crisis

Many people believe that you only need therapy if your relationship is on the brink or if a catastrophe has occurred.

The Reality

Most couples seek couples therapy only at a point of distress, but couples therapy is helpful even without an obvious problem present. In fact, it can be used to prevent major issues from arising in the future.

While most people associate it with serious issues in the relationship, couples therapy is not only for couples with problems. Instead of waiting for things to build up over time, you can get ahead of it and learn how to avoid conflict in the future. Develop the tools necessary for better communication. The majority of couples wait until they’re at their breaking point to start therapy. However, they could have avoided the distress and anguish if they had sought out early intervention instead. We take a preventative approach to our health, so why not do the same for our relationship?

Couples Therapy is Too Expensive

Couples therapy can seem like a luxury, accessible only to wealthy couples.

The Reality

Couples therapy can be covered by insurance. If a partner qualifies as experiencing “mental distress” from their relationship and is diagnosed with a condition, insurance would be billed. Check with your insurance provider beforehand.

Without insurance, most couples pay between $100 and $250 per session, typically attending therapy on a weekly basis. However, you could attend biweekly sessions to help with the cost. Some therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on income, discounts for buying multiple sessions, or even payment plans.

Couples Therapy is For Married Couples Only

Another common misconception is that couples therapy is exclusively for married couples.

The Reality

Couples therapy is not just for married couples; it benefits nearly every type of couple. Couples therapy is an effective way to improve any relationship, whether you’re newly dating or have been together for twenty years, are engaged, live together, or live separately.

Couples therapy focuses on enhancing communication, resolving conflicts, and addressing recurring relationship patterns that are applicable to all committed partnerships. Therapists are trained to work with a diverse range of couples and tailor their approach to meet the unique needs and goals of each couple, whether that couple is a long-term committed relationship or just starting out.

We can go beyond the myth of “married only” couples and debunk the belief that couples therapy is reserved for straight couples and monogamous couples. Couples therapy can help couples who identify as LGBTQ+, as well as polyamorous partners.

Couples Therapy is a Sign of Weakness

It’s a common misconception that going to couples therapy means failure or that you didn’t try hard enough.

The Reality

The reality is just the opposite. Deciding to go to couples therapy means you’re willing to put in the effort to improve your relationship. It means you’re serious about your commitment and you are fully invested. You won’t just give up before trying it all. Admitting you need outside help is not an easy thing to do, but it can be one of the best decisions you make for your relationship.

Does Couples Therapy Actually Help?

Couples therapy has been shown to be effective for many couples. While marriage counseling is not the antidote to divorce, it can help prevent it.

The American Psychological Association states that therapy is successful in restoring relationships 75 percent of the time. Studies have included couples of various backgrounds and those in high-stress situations. Therefore, couples therapy does work for a lot of people. Recently, there has been a rise in couples seeking outside help for their marriages. The divorce rate in the United States has been plummeting, and marriage counseling is partly to thank for that.

How To Get The Most Out Of Couples Therapy

Many people believe that you only need therapy if your relationship is on the brink or if a catastrophe has occurred.

Engage In Self-Reflection.

Try not to make the sessions all about what your partner is doing wrong. Ask yourself what you could be doing differently. Cut down on the defensiveness and aim for vulnerability instead. Share how you feel.

Be Proactive

Think about what you want to address in a session ahead of time. Plan out what you want to say. Write it down. This can help avoid saying things out of emotion or shutting down during a session.

Get On The Same Team

Try not to view your partnership as you vs. them. Remember, they are not your enemy. Work towards seeing them as your teammate, rather than someone with a different goal, one that is essential to a stronger connection.

Be Patient

Don’t expect to see change right away. Results will take time to appear. However, if the effort is there, you will eventually reap the benefits of your labor.

Without insurance, most couples pay between $100 and $250 per session, typically attending therapy on a weekly basis. However, you could attend biweekly sessions to help with the cost. Some therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on income, discounts for buying multiple sessions, or even payment plans.

Couples Therapy is For Married Couples Only

Another common misconception is that couples therapy is exclusively for married couples.

The Reality

Couples therapy is not just for married couples; it benefits nearly every type of couple. Couples therapy is an effective way to improve any relationship, whether you’re newly dating or have been together for twenty years, are engaged, live together, or live separately.

Couples therapy focuses on enhancing communication, resolving conflicts, and addressing recurring relationship patterns that are applicable to all committed partnerships. Therapists are trained to work with a diverse range of couples and tailor their approach to meet the unique needs and goals of each couple, whether that couple is a long-term committed relationship or just starting out.

We can go beyond the myth of “married only” couples and debunk the belief that couples therapy is reserved for straight couples and monogamous couples. Couples therapy can help couples who identify as LGBTQ+, as well as polyamorous partners.

Couples Therapy is a Sign of Weakness

It’s a common misconception that going to couples therapy means failure or that you didn’t try hard enough.

The Reality

The reality is just the opposite. Deciding to go to couples therapy means you’re willing to put in the effort to improve your relationship. It means you’re serious about your commitment and you are fully invested. You won’t just give up before trying it all. Admitting you need outside help is not an easy thing to do, but it can be one of the best decisions you make for your relationship.

Does Couples Therapy Actually Help?

Couples therapy has been shown to be effective for many couples. While marriage counseling is not the antidote to divorce, it can help prevent it.

The American Psychological Association states that therapy is successful in restoring relationships 75 percent of the time. Studies have included couples of various backgrounds and those in high-stress situations. Therefore, couples therapy does work for a lot of people. Recently, there has been a rise in couples seeking outside help for their marriages. The divorce rate in the United States has been plummeting, and marriage counseling is partly to thank for that.

Invest In Your Relationship

Couples therapy is a significant investment that requires both time and money. But more than anything, it takes effort, and a lot of it. With the therapist as a guide, both partners will need to put in the work and be open to trying new things.

You can ease into therapy by starting with an initial consultation. After a few sessions, if you don’t feel like your therapist is a good match, you can make a change. Remember that a lot of therapy is simply what you make it. So set yourself up for success!

If you’re ready to take action, The Couples Center is ready to connect you with an experienced therapist.