If you discover that your partner is having an affair, does it mean that the relationship is over? For many couples, the belief is that discovering an affair means the relationship is over. However, it depends on the reasons for the affair, and the current communication style within the [...]
Here is the basic idea behind Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples: underneath your fights with your partner there is a desire to feel secure in your love. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a popular approach to couples therapy that has been validated in research. EFT helps [...]
Even those with the most entrenched challenges can 'earn' secure attachment. Do you often fear that your partner doesn't want to be as close as you'd like them to be? Do relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy? Or maybe you're often on high alert for [...]
To get a better sense of the meaning sex has in your relationship, you have to expand your lens of curiosity wider than the sex act itself. When you and your partner have sex, what are you communicating to each other? Imagine, for instance, that you could see a video of [...]
Connection happens when both of you are able to receive what the other is actually saying or experiencing in the present moment. When are we projecting versus connecting with our partners? When you and your partner argue, do you find yourselves fighting over who is right and who is wrong? [...]
It can be tempting to think that your partner should accept you without any help. In my previous article, we looked at what acceptance is and how to give it. Now we look at how you can help a partner become more accepting. It can be tempting to think that [...]
“When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.” —Anonymous One of the most common sources of miscommunication and tension in relationships is a transactional mindset. This can look like “I do more than you,” “I earn more than you,” “My work is more stressful than [...]
True acceptance is always done in a way that maintains your integrity. The desire for acceptance—and the lack thereof—is a prevalent theme in relationships. It can appear in an angry “Just accept it!” It can sound pleading, as in “Why won’t you just accept me the way I am?” There’s [...]
We’re all here to grow and learn through our relationships. Living from love is the basis for many spiritual traditions. Relationships can serve as a spiritual practice and a vehicle for living more consciously, with more awareness of our actions (and how they affect others). More than just your partnership, [...]
Having curiosity and openness allows you to see what’s really going on for your partner. In my previous article, I introduced the key step that masters of “the dance” of loving relationship sum up as turning toward. In part two of this series, l invite you to consider what this [...]
By turning your attention to the other’s experience, love happens. “How to love?” This ambitious question has been asked as far back in history as our collective beating hearts began. The experience of love, of course, defies description and is so profound that our greatest philosophers and spiritual traditions often [...]
An emotional affair, even without sex, can be just as detrimental to your relationship’s safety and future. The foundation of a successful partnership is trust—and a betrayal of that trust can derail even the closest relationship. While such betrayals often come in the form of physical affairs, an emotional [...]