Work and a relationship; is it possible to juggle both, or does something have to give? “It’s all about balance”, we hear this repeatedly regarding almost everything. But what does it mean? First, to balance your love life and work life, you need to have boundaries.

How to Balance Love and Career?

Navigating a relationship, whether it’s dating or marriage, requires commitment. It takes work, physical and emotional, to maintain a relationship. And then there’s work, obviously taking up a lot, if not most of our time.

Maintain Boundaries

Because so many people work from home, it’s easy for work to bleed into one’s personal life. Setting healthy boundaries promotes healthy mental well-being. By defining healthy boundaries, you are establishing your values and engagement with other people.

Work Boundaries

When it comes to work, boundaries help prevent burnout. Clear boundaries with work can help you focus better, improving productivity.

You can start by determining what matters most to you regarding your work and your relationship. For some, this means prioritizing professional boundaries, such as knowing when to say no to additional tasks or projects.

If you work outside of a traditional 9 to 5, you could establish a clear end time or set break times. This is not only helpful for you to have a more routine schedule, but your partner can rely on these times too.

Relationship Boundaries

It’s important to set boundaries with your partner. You may find you need guidelines that have to do with your work and relationship. For example, what about your partner texting you during your workday? Is it stressful or a pleasant distraction? What is their expectation for getting back to you? This can all be discussed so that both partners have reasonable expectations for communication during workdays.

Work Differences

Don’t assume your work is the same as your partner’s. You may have opposite schedules. You may work in distinct fields that have different requirements. For example, your career is emotionally draining. His job is physically exhausting. You’re sometimes on call. He’s able to fully leave work at work.

In addition, there’s a good chance your work styles are not the same. Some people can be productive while answering text messages here and there. Some people can sprinkle in some flirty or sexy texts throughout their workday. However, other people are truly not available to their partner until their day is over. Whatever your style, your availability is, let your partner know. Be transparent and keep expectations in check.

Tips for Managing a Relationship and Work

Talk It Out

The importance of communication can never be stressed enough. Open communication can prevent resentment from building. If you’re struggling to juggle the big things in your life, share that with your partner. You may be able to come up with helpful strategies together. Discuss that arbitrary term, “balance”. What does balance mean for each of you as it relates to your love life and work?

Share your work goals with each other. Encourage your partner’s goals and help find ways to support one another without sacrificing connection.

Talk with your partner about your relationship goals. What do you want to achieve together? Come up with a plan that details both long term and short term goals and the steps you’ll take to get there.

Plan, Plan, Plan.

At work, you schedule meetings and appointments for the future. Do the same for time with your partner. See if your breaks line up, and add “phone call with partner” to the agenda.

You’ll also want to keep your partner in the loop about your work schedule and how it will impact your time together. If you know you have a busy work week coming up, let your partner know that ahead of time. On the other hand, if you’ll have a lighter schedule see how that lines up with your partner’s and plan a fun activity to look forward to.

Have Permanent Date Nights

Make room for a weekly night just the two of you, without distractions. It doesn’t have to be a fancy outing. A couch date with a board game or movie will do the trick. It’s not about what you do, but having that special time together to look forward to. Schedule your calendars around your date night, rather than vice versa.

Clock Out, for Real

Today’s world has us working from home and from our phones whenever, wherever. Nothing kills the mood like your date checking email when you’re trying to get to know each other. When you’re with your significant other outside of business hours, make it a point to unplug.

Tell them you are putting your phone away. Let your partner know they have your full attention and do not need to compete with your job.

Integrate the Two

We hear a lot about keeping work and personal life separate. But what if you’re able to combine the two in a fun way? If you have to travel for work, bring your significant other. Invited to drinks after work? Have your partner tag along.

Alternatively, if you’re slammed at work and have to bring it home, do your work alongside your partner. Even if you can’t have long conversations, sit close enough to touch. Use your partner as motivation to get work done. For example, work for 30 minutes and then talk to your partner for 5 minutes.

Reflect on Your Priorities

You likely want success in both areas – your career and your relationship, but what does that mean for you?

The hard truth is that you may not be able to have it all. Consider what you’re willing to give up or at least compromise on. Knowing what things you’re not willing to sacrifice is just as important as knowing what you’re willing to alter.

It all goes back to communication. Make sure you communicate with your partner about what’s important to you. That way you can work together and come up with a compromise that benefits both of you.

Quality vs. Quantity

When it comes to time spent with your partner, quality beats quantity. Time spent in the same room, same bed, doesn’t count if you aren’t interacting. For example, you and your spouse both work from home and share an office. You’re together, but probably not able to connect. Be intentional about your time together (outside of work). Make it count.

Have Regular Check-ins

Life gets busy. Take a beat and check in with your partner, emotionally. Set aside a time at the end of each week, and stick to it.

Ask each other the following:

• Do you need to adjust boundaries around work hours, weekends, or vacation? (Remember that some boundaries are meant to shift over time.)
• What is something you’re proud of this week?
• What was the most difficult part of your week? How can I support you better?
• What are your goals for next week?
• What can I do to support your goals?
• When did you feel most connected with me this week?
• Are you feeling prioritized?
• Do you think our goals are aligned?

Couples Therapy

You can gain more support with the help of a therapist. Whether you’re feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or wanting to better your communication, couples therapy, can give you the tools for improvement.