Anger is often used as a cover-up for other emotions. So when your partner yells at you when you’re late for your date, their irritation may be a response to actually feeling hurt. But instead of expressing their sadness, they disguise it as anger. The anger serves as a defense mechanism protecting them from a more vulnerable emotion.

Definition of Anger as a Secondary Emotion

Anger is considered a secondary emotion because it is provoked by other emotions. Anger is a response to other emotions a person is feeling. Jane may be feeling undervalued and sad because her partner isn’t treating her as a priority. But rather than share their true feelings, they choose anger and go on the attack because it is their default.

Understanding Anger

Anger tends to carry a bad rep, but it is misunderstood. Anger can be healthy if handled correctly. Anger is a powerful emotion. It’s purpose is to create change. We feel angry because we were wronged in some way, and we want to do something about it. Anger activates energy in our body so that we can transform the “unfair” situation.

Anger can also protect us from what we may consider less desirable emotions. The Anger Iceberg is a concept used to explain how anger can be displayed outwardly, but it is just the tip of the iceberg and other emotions may be hidden beneath the surface. Emotions like embarrassment, loneliness, or stress may be present underneath the anger. Sometimes it’s a combination of a few different emotions.

Overview of Primary Emotions and Secondary Emotions

Primary emotions are a person’s initial and most basic reactions to a situation. They are obvious responses to a situation that comes from our basic human instincts and biological processes. An example is expressing sadness when someone dies or getting angry if someone cuts you off in traffic.

On the other hand, secondary emotions are responses to those primary emotions. Secondary emotions are emotional reactions to primary emotions. They are felt after experiencing the primary emotion. Secondary emotions are often influenced by our thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations of a situation. Secondary emotions are habitual or learned responses to deal with uncomfortable emotions. It is a way to numb or lower the intensity of feelings.

Primary emotions are usually more straightforward and instinctive, while secondary emotions are more complex and learned

Characteristics of Primary Emotions:

• Instinctive and natural
• Functional
• Can be painful or pleasurable
• Can be harmful when reacted to
• Sensitive and vulnerable
• Rooted in the deeper parts of the brain
• Helps keep us connected with others
• Helps guide our actions

Characteristics of Secondary Emotions:

• Learned or habitual
• Protective
• Defensive and avoidant
• Can be better controlled than primary emotions
• Can numb emotions
• Ignore what the emotions are asking
• Come from a place of learning, e.g., ‘I should not feel sad’ or ‘I should not feel any anger.’ This is not the same as self-control.
• Motivated by pain reduction (defense mechanism)
• Linger around long after the situation has transpired
• Often leads to distance and disconnect from goals, values, and people

Explanation of Anger as a Secondary Emotion

Anger is considered a secondary emotion because it often emerges in response to primary emotions that are more direct and raw. Anger can be considered more socially acceptable than an alternative emotion like sadness or fear.

For example, if someone feels sad that their partner hasn’t been too busy to spend time with them, they may express anger. They may pick a fight and accuse them of not caring, instead of explaining how they feel hurt and miss spending time with them. When people are afraid they can resort to anger as a defense mechanism. For example, if a loved one is in the hospital, they may get angry at a doctor or nurse over something small as a way to gain a sense of control or power when they feel helpless and vulnerable.

Differences Between Primary and Secondary Anger

Anger can be both primary and secondary emotions. Whether anger is outwardly displayed can depend on several factors, like gender or culture. For example, Western culture tends to shun vulnerability in men. Popular sayings like, “Boys don’t cry” and “Man up” make it difficult for men to show sadness so they display a more accepted emotion, anger. Alternatively, anger can be hidden beneath other emotions like sadness. This can be seen in women in Western culture where anger is less accepted than sadness.

Whether anger is secondary or primary is not always dependent on gender or culture, it may depend on the person’s upbringing and attachment style. Sometimes it is situational and could be dependent on the other person(s) involved.

Causes of Anger Secondary Emotion

We tend to use anger as a way to protect our vulnerable selves. There are several ways anger can be used, all of which are in response to a primary emotion.

• Emotional Defense Mechanism: Anger can act as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from more vulnerable feelings.
• Social/Cultural Norms: In many cultures, anger is more socially acceptable or visible than other emotions like sadness or fear, leading people to express anger outwardly.
• Cognitive Processes: The way each individual perceives an action can lead to anger. If someone perceives a threat or injustice, our cognitive interpretation might provoke anger as a way to deal with the perceived threat or to gain control over the situation.
• Biological Factors: Anger can be a biological response to perceived threats, preparing us for a “fight” response. This physiological reaction often rules over more subtle, underlying emotions like fear or sadness.
• Behavioral Response: Anger might be used because it seems more effective and will get the change they are looking for. In this way, anger can feel more empowering or manageable than dealing with the primary emotions.

Triggers for Secondary Anger

Anger is often triggered by other emotions. Some common triggers include:

• Hurt or Pain: When a person experiences emotional or physical pain, anger can surface as a way to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable or weak.
• Fear or Anxiety: Anger might show up when a person is scared or anxious. The aggression can be a defense mechanism to deal with or mask the fear and anxiety that they are feeling.
• Frustration or Powerlessness: When a person feels stuck or unable to control a situation, anger can serve as a response to the feeling of helplessness or frustration.
• Injustice or Perceived Wrongdoing: When a person feels wronged or treated unfairly, anger can be a reaction to the perceived injustice, representing a way to exert their influence or seek resolution.
• Rejection or Abandonment: Feelings of rejection or abandonment can trigger anger as a defensive response to the emotional pain of being excluded or left behind.
• Disappointment: When expectations are unmet, anger can crop up from the frustration of not achieving desired outcomes or from disappointment in others.
• Stress: When someone is overwhelmed with responsibilities, stressors, or emotional burdens irritability increases and can lead to anger as an emotional release.

Relationship Between Primary Emotions and Secondary Anger

Secondary anger is a type of secondary emotion that commonly arises as a response to or as a way of managing primary emotions (basic feelings like joy, fear, or sadness). Secondary anger can be viewed as an emotional response derived from primary emotions. Additionally, these emotions often involve additional layers of interpretation, self-reflection, or coping strategies.

Anger tends to hide more vulnerable primary emotions that we don’t want to feel. Therefore, anger can also be a defense mechanism. It’s important to increase self-awareness and identify what primary emotion or emotions are underlying. Understanding the root will help with managing emotions which leads to better mental health, and thus, healthier relationships.

Role of Past Experiences in Generating Secondary Anger

Past traumatic experiences or unresolved emotional wounds can be triggered by current events, leading to anger as a way to cope with the underlying pain.

Additionally, if anger has historically been the go-to emotion to express, it becomes habitual and the body may jump to anger simply because of muscle memory.

The Human Experience of Anger

Anger is one of the most elemental human emotions. It is one of the basic emotions tied to human survival. We’ve all experienced the feeling of anger. Though at times necessary, it never feels good.

Impact of Anger on Daily Life and Relationships

Excessive and uncontrollable anger can cause big problems in romantic relationships, among other types. Anger can create challenges in the workplace, as well as legal and financial problems. Anger can hijack the ability to think clearly, leading to poor judgment and decision-making. Anger is often found at the root of substance abuse disorders, domestic violence, emotional abuse, and other conditions.

Psychological and Physiological Effects of Anger

Unacknowledged emotions can affect your relationships with others as well as with yourself. Staying angry can affect how you behave and communicate with others and can impact your view of self.

Identifying the Primary Emotion Underneath Anger

Remember that anger is a call to action. It is a sign something is wrong and needs our attention. The concept of the ‘Anger Funnel’ is a way to help process and understand our anger.

How to use the Anger Funnel to identify your true emotions:

1. Think about the situation that made you angry., and remind yourself that the anger was hiding another emotion or emotions.
2. Picture a funnel – What emotions went in that caused anger to come through? Common underlying emotions include fear, sadness, disappointment, abandonment, betrayal, loneliness, or feeling taken advantage of.
3. After you’ve uncovered which emotions led to anger, imagine those feelings trickling down the funnel and eventually pouring out the bottom as anger.
4. Imagine or write down, how you might have processed your anger if you had been more able to consider, understand, and communicate your feelings and concerns, rather than act out or suppress your anger.
5. Next time you’re feeling angry with your partner, put the funnel to work. Take a moment to think about the feelings that have led you to feel angry. Try to give yourself grace and check in with how you are feeling. Take the time to consider how best to resolve whatever is causing you to feel insecure, scared, disappointed, etc. Use this wisdom to respond compassionately, rather than reacting in anger.