No ones learns about relationships in school. Yet, like any other topic, if you want to be good at it you have to gain some knowledge and skills. To save you time, here’s a list of my favorite relationship books. All of them are highly recommended.
This is one of the best books for couples by Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The book is a therapy program that helped many couples learn how to de-escalate conflict, create a safe emotional connection, and strengthen bonds between partners. The book includes case studies, illuminating advice, and practical exercises.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Harville Hendrix
A classic best seller by Dr. Harville Hendrix, who, in partnership with his wife, originated Imago Relationship Therapy. This book would help you discover the unconscious patterns that influence your relationship and how to move from “unconscious partnership” to “conscious partnership”. The book includes a set of practical exercises.
The many changes that women have undergone in the last few decades have led to the demand for a radically new kind of relationship. Terrance Real explains what men need to do to adjust to this situation and offers couples a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship.
Wired for Love: How understanding your brain can help you diffuse conflict…, by Stan Tatkin
Understanding how your brain operates when it comes to romantic relationships can give you surprising insights and tools for creating a great relationship. This book brings a synthesis of neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation into a simple and practical format. You might want to check Stan Tatkin’s audio book also.
After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship, by Daniel B. Wile
When choosing a partner, we are choosing, along with that person, a particular set of problems that we will be grappling with for the next many years. Most of these problems result from feelings we are unable to express and conversations we are unable to have, and exposing those undercurrents can turn fights into intimate conversations. Dan Wile shows how to take advantage of the inevitable problems that occur in a relationship to deepen the sense of connection.
For couples who are ready to dive deeper into themselves and their relationship, this book maps a unique journey that turns the challenges that inevitably arise in relationships into opportunities for personal growth and consequently deeper connection. It provides insight into how relationship can become the most important vehicle for personal growth.
Relationship and sexuality
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, by David Schnarch
Passionate Marriage explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. David Schnarch helps couples see the connection between their sexual and emotional roadblocks in their relationship and describe specific techniques from his worldwide workshops.
The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment, by Jack Morin
Unlike most authors who focus simply on physiological fulfillment Jack Morin asserts that it is our erotic psyches that require detailed examination. He claims that understanding our peak sexual experiences and fantasies offers the greatest opportunity for self-discovery and, thus, revitalized sexual experiences. Morin has developed an “erotic equation”: attraction plus obstacles leads to excitement.
Relationship and affairs
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, by Janis A. Spring
After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the crisis of aninfidelity. The book helps partners understand what both sides are going through and what are the steps to rebuild trust in the relationship.
Not just friends: Rebuilding trust and recovering after an infidelity, by Shirley Glass
The premise of this book is that affairs can also happen to people that are in good relationships, and that many times they start at work, as emotional involvement that later leads to a sexual affair. But, regardless of how the affair started this book has great advice and insights into how to handle the aftermath of an affair.