With an endless variety of potential ‘perfect fits,’ how do we know when to stop?

We live in a very stimulating era—everything seems to be immediate, instantaneous, and accessible. Whatever we desire is out there and within our reach, as long as we have a few seconds and a Wi-Fi connection. If we don’t like what we end up with, if it’s not as perfect as it seemed when we first saw it, we can simply return it and continue our search in the virtual land of illusion.

Dating is just another example of this. It can be exciting and energizing, and also very challenging—so many options! Thanks to online dating and social media, we now have an endless variety of potential “perfect fits.” So how do you know when to stop? When it’s OK to explore deeper?

How do you know when you’ve arrived?

Let’s say you really like someone on your first date, so you make a second one, and then a few more. If you’re lucky, you start to feel some butterflies in your belly, an adrenaline rush, and a growing sense of hope and possibility. All your dreams, finally, show up in one person…maybe? You might also notice yourself feeling ambivalent, keeping in the back of your mind that just in case, you can always go back to the colorful, sparkly pool of new “ones” and start again.